Tag Archives: passenger consciousness

All Wonder As This

All and many I meet myself

the prairie dogs out in the sun

the cat making its loud request

even the band members three

the silent one at work avoiding

the one who touches in asking

Each meeting and non-meeting

escalates the palpability of I-Thou

truly lightly firmly sometimes

fascination igniting conscience

tussle and pull forward backward

separateness stands to be shorn

Like the sheep giving it all over

for some other purpose than

their own, I now wearing some-

thing of the other as my cover,

this is how things get interesting

parsing apportioning we tempt

The unfortunate fate of old, worn

housings that which dances past

and through awkward dreams

unfettered and lost in designated

zones where no key or lock can

keep or much less open or close

Fancy that! How many times so

far have you walked onto That

stage, the one where most divine

counsel awaits ready to invite you

to burn As Yourself and No Other

resistance melting with that ace

As the curtain rises –an exposé

like no other upstages what once

was Now Seen Heard Spoken as

effulgence in the making unplugged

freeing the intermediaries of the toil

of battening down the misbegotten

I-Thou No Other

All Wonder As This

I-Thou As Other

All Wonder As This

I-Thou Be Loved

All Wonder As This

Penthouse [and other conversations]

Penthouse and other conversations


This is not a house / but what pretends.

                      I am here nonetheless living / and life and my life fill this space 

Life unfolds through different orders

                      There is tenderness amongst these words,

and I might wonder in the in-between

                      I just was not able to crowd out the thoughts 

where holding, housing seems real.

                      that gruffness in the face of subterfuge, mine or ours.

Building has made things lie lifeless

                      I’ve been a builder of many things

and what has come to know these?

                      split myself –polarity of material plane

Something feigns to dwell and comes

                      as if one thing is better than another                        

nonetheless as if dwelling here abides.

                      confined within the designs of things.

Oh, the mis-take of it all. We borrow

                      No mistakes really whenever I see

and borrow such blurring until

                      resting is what is such that

little edge or distinction remains.

                      resting and restless find their joining.

I rest in the in-dwelling,

                      Yet I cannot be in without out

the in-dwelling needing no arrival.

                      coming and going are the same.

It is the departing, which lays waste

                      This one who departs and does not see –this

and waste again, as unsettling ensues.

                      song is for her to remind and restore her.

I dream of simpler forays

                      In the dream there is this dream too

the meeting in directness

                      one cannot be without the other –yet

where the purest movement speaks stillness,

                      their divide is what is not real –breathing

unlike the manipulation of reality taken on

                      now –All is beyond question welcoming

as second nature and even first.

                      the manifest as the poetry of it All.

I pause, considering ~ the in-dwelling remains

                      Still point / zero point

needing no artifice, climbs without effort

                      welcoming the manifest

and also falls with no aversion.

                      as the poetry of it All.

On the Journey Between Two

Relax. Into this. And this. Relax is something that permeates into an aspect of self and being where there is no longer two. Most of my thinking seems directed by a self, a will that the self identifies as its own and yet      … and yet there is another mind or one who experiences thinking within as the very nature of space receives all things. I have been treading this ground of late, this ground of seeing and seeing and feeling into.

This ground seems pocked by hot spots, surges of energy or activity where there seems to be a discourse and nearly a battle. But the battle only appears to be a battle and is actually an incredible dance of forces merging into themselves, realizing and actualizing the potential within the not-two or between that which appears and that which is without appearance.

To have such definition on this road, the road, in actuality, of space, the misconception so easily made is to give precedence to appearances and their seeming positions and volition. This take on what simply is is often a mis-take. What can seem to be one of the self primarily, the aspect of self that is organized around identifying with, may separate out the one from the two. In effect this separating out is saying ‘I direct this and you direct that’ and in that excluding virtually all the richness of what simply is existing or co-existing, using that word to not exclude the mind’s dualistic nature here, in unconditional space.

For the self that I have so often identified with seems to be one that has a capacity to direct, to parse out, to refuse, to orient to or not, to find difference with, and therefore identify with one thing over another. I sit with the energy of this all now, the energy of it as pure space or of it existing in unconditional space/time. Something else occurs there and then (funny references really, the ‘there’ and the ‘then’) for those very references or reference points drop away or no longer serve anything of truth.

The something else is relax. Back to the first utterance, at least of this blog, and pointing to, relax is in a sense no where to go, nothing to define one thing against another. And this relax may be different from within my view or perspective from another person’s individual consciousness. And even that difference is included here. Such a unique liberation for that self that I have been identifying with so strongly. Self continues on its journey even in the relax. Self doesn’t need to identify with, it just is.

Even the way the writing is happening today seems to have relax in it. Arriving without arriving, in a way. Not making or creating a position, just seeing now as seeing is happening and allowing a writ of that. Even the words that come are fascinating as the arising, in their arising. Writ large of the Relax.

Riding the Way of Human Experiencing and not-Knowing

I just can’t know how things are until the whole of the experience that I am in is experienced all the way through to it’s fulfillment or completion. Of course, I think I know and I’ve thought I knew ‘what was going on’ many a time and moved from that place thinking I knew. A while back, I met this realization, both sides of it, in the flesh, so to speak, in a way that it landed in my cells as a recognition that I responded to within my life intelligence. Ah, freeing and at the same time weighty in some way. I was inspired again today to reflect on this insight on the workings of such a deep mechanism in the human, experiential way after reading a quote by a fellow HD journeyer who shared her own insights into this phenomena. She describes this in her own words, but she maps it out beautifully in her pointing to the nature of this particular ‘way’ of human experiences and awareness:

Let’s say, I set ‘100’ as the marker, I consider ’99’ the mid-point” – ’cause that’s exactly what the Human Experiential Way is about (41/30 -> 36/35). Once you arrive at the ’50’ mark you may still be fully excited that you are getting exactly what you planned, what you wanted – then very few make it, endure until the ’70th mark’, since frustration/ bitterness/ anger/ disappointment has already overruled the Body’s Intelligence – and it’s only about: “I gotta get it! Gotta get it, no matter the price!” – oh, how much waste of resources, how much resistance, how much wear and tear on your body! – And then, just when the real mystery/miracle, uniquely designed for you, is about to happen, this point 99, only 1 more step to go! you have already lost all of your JUICE, and maybe longtime given up on that Initial Spark that had set you on this experiential journey… and it’s then, ‘IT’ suddenly happens! So, that’s what I’ve learned and learning again and again: Stay with it! Follow your unique strategy and inner authority no matter what the ‘results’!! 🙂 Then you truly have a life! Doesn’t have to be the one you thought… CAN actually never be the one you thought. Such a Joke and also such a drag many times. -Life reveals itself, no one knows your truth, since it’s only been waiting for you… this is what I woke up with today, right from the bottom of my being.- ~ Gisela Koška

My personality Sun gate, the 41, initiates this whole cycle. I, at times, can feel that working in me, especially right now where the global program is providing the 30th gate and the 35th gate to my 41 and 36, both on the personality side. What can pop out of my mouth, some part of me trying to ‘describe’ what is going on, continues to amaze me at the audacity of what is declared! “This is what is happening…” I so boldly declare, as I have the feeling that I can speak ‘what is true’ and yet, as stated earlier here, by its very nature, we cannot know what is unfolding, what is true even, until the full unfolding is reached. And not reached in a pseudo way, seemingly offering ‘knowing!’

This circuit also carries a different kind of wave than I am used to. Hope and pain, hope and pain and back again. In the hope cycle, it’s so easy to find myself declaring that I know what’s going on! Even in the pain, it’s as if I feel I can see into the underbelly of what is present, instead of just being in presence, relaxing into the passenger consciousness. I seem to enlist others (ah the collective nature of this circuitry) so easily or at least I seem to feel impulsed with a strong desire (30th gate!) to include others, to share, to discuss… And all of this I am watching now.

Even in this writing, I have the feeling that I don’t know what to say. It’s as if I am reporting somewhere along the way, with really nothing to report other than “this is where I seem to be right now!” In the shift from speaking with a degree of certainty, to now watching all these impulses one way or the other to declare something to be so and, in truth, having no idea what is so, what is true other than being itself. So many others seem to wish me to tell them how it is in my life. People waiting for this very declaration and not asking me or even considering to ask, “do you really know that to be true?” or “can you know that to be truly the way it is?” Ah, the open breath that comes when I imagine friends and allies being with me in not-knowing, relishing it in the same way that I do!

I welcome you along with welcoming myself to this not-knowing journey, as long as it continues on. Oh joy, in that being! Love Yourself!

Liquid Consciousness on the Mundane Plane

The melting that goes on within my energetic perceptual beingness when music becomes the key to unlock the natural expansion of my awareness consciousness is a beautiful and earthy touch on the mundane plane. The cat sitting on my lap seems to melt with me, as does the earlier calisthenics of the mental plane trying to sort something out that it has no business being involved in in the first place! Music, for me, is a deep ally as are the animal energies that I so often attract or attract to. What a gift it is to have been given back or given directly this ally relationship by landing in the color of my unique frequency within the realm of how my brain and physiology does the best when taking in information or nourishment. It’s like being given back a whole stash of gold coins that somehow slipped out of the lining of my pocket while I was distracted doing something else, who knows what!

And while I’m at it, let me announce my joy, my exquisite satisfaction with my visit to the hills that also feeds me so deeply as the sun begins to trail lower and lower bringing to the hills a shift in temperature and a lifting of the currents of air into a flow of wind that lift my spirits and bring me into a deeper harmony of self where clearings of residue happens naturally and effortlessly. And now, in this night, I feel a dance moving in the rhythms of the music that just so lightly and fluidly move in my body and spine, as well. Liquid spine. How does this translate into consciousness? What a good question ~ a question that seems worth pondering to me right now, but not from a mental frequency, some other way.

So ~ without the usual resistance in the pockets of the mind that so easily can be wired to the cerebral spinal fluid, the spine has freedom of movement in more ways than one or many. I remember this being or seeming to be opened in my awareness at one point in my experience. There was an extreme environment in which I was introduced at one time ago which allowed me to glimpse many things, but especially a vibrant introduction to how liquid is consciousness, especially the consciousness that seemed to be mine. And melting just a little bit more right now, my whole being stretches and yawns as it releases something unnecessary ~ Ah, having this global program that defines my spleen center right now… things just immediately getting washed through!

event horizon

as i sit to write i source the event horizon of what emerges

just enough to gather the energy into expression and

i discover there are images there instead of words

there are moving energies in my heart of hearts

that simply don’t want to be put into words

left to the pure beauty of the energy

itself breathing arising alighting

within my awareness

and sourcing

itself as