Category Archives: vibrational musings

Vunerability Within

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29 September ~

My writing calls me, calls me here to place words outwardly that otherwise are fluid within. Vulnerabilities within anchor me, without hand holds, to the vastness of space within my heart and beingness. Sometimes this spaciousness is so vast, I can feel lost even when there is no where to go.

My contemplative fire within burns as an ember, low, gently warm, waiting to be rekindled in this autumn moon. It feels both awkward and tender, to write now. Coaxing something of that which is waiting to revive. I read the words of others, tenderness arising as the recognition of spirit in the life lived.

30 September ~ the following morning ~ The sun is softened, softened by somewhat heavy skies. The morning has a timeless quality, still under covers. I wake later than usual and my body/mind has a harder time sleeping late. It’s as if there is some deep confusion between waking and sleeping. The body aches, which gives a feeling to stay in bed. Staying in bed brings a different kind of weight, which impacts the whole. The house is quiet. I’m not the only one sleeping later today.

I long to write about the simple, everyday things on the material plane. I often write from the more subtle regions of the consciousness, the awareness of all that is. Then the object of awareness becomes the expression and the way of expression through language. This object is not so satisfying to the actual, physical life, the beingness in the body and of the body. And yet, these two are inextricably joined.

Instead, I take up a book with words written in the way that soothes and nourishes my soul and being. I can enjoy these writings. Maybe I don’t have to be the one who writes in that way. I live that way, so it’s there; that day to day touching in, with tenderness, to the material plane. I feel the elementals there with me. I love to acknowledge that connection. I don’t always acknowledge them, but when I do, I really love it and there is communion instantly!

[The song In Everything (Momosona) by Chris Rosser comes up on Pandora: https://www.pandora.com/#!/music/song/chris+rosser/in+everything+momosona ~ check it out, if you like.]

engaged in this

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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

what comes   is what brings itself to   this

what rests there and what moves on

these are  both  a part of the same stuff

the stuff of emergingrecedingpausing

bring your feeling sense to what I am

pointing to if you will, if you feel to

•

there is an ’empty’ state or open, spacious,

receiving, nothing being grasped for or at

that pervades the formerly preoccupied

ground such that ground becomes being

being breathes just as awareness is quietly

cascadingshoweringbathing itself ever anew

•

things get done yet no doing ~ on and on

spontaneously refreshing, involuntarily,

with and without innocence both

nothing you can or need to do about it

but be in and as the receiving,

the flowering of this, engaged in this

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

this window, this ground, this being

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• • • • • • • • • • • • •
the window that lives
in the flesh and
pulse of my
energy
is a
torus
of energy
that opens out
only after condensing
and tightening around the
pure narrow stream of expansive
isness carrying the touch that is awake
to itself beyond any frequency of identity
that can change or contort the very aliveness

that is that simply is that is that is that simply is

so tight that only that which is empty full empty
moves through a kind of feed zone where the
cognitive semblance of what is perceived
has only the breath of the breath as a
ride to its own ecstatic turning in
to itself and back again all in
the very same moment
as the torus itself,
the inner and
outer curve
of space
being
space
being
opening
and closing
outward inward
spreading narrowing
arching out concaving in
the delight of movement as itself
no other not needing any identity but
this augmentation of harmonic dissonance
freedom pure freedom clear of intention clear
choiceless such as beauty itself rises from and cries

this one this all open out condense in penetrate emerge

such that blooming dying birthing arriving surrenders
and tempers the form through this window into itself
sourcing itself feeding itself through and through
as through and through attenuating its very
nature back into itself as the essence
that it will once again arise from
returning to itself returning
as both the rising and
the falling tastes
the measure of
the other
as the
other
falls
against
the rise and
rises against the
fall of spread open
wings, wings which taper
as they lift touching air to space
space to air to alight only to fall again
to the ground of beingness, this ground here
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

©janice sandeen 10•11•2010

causal reply

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i hear the instruction of sound

the layers, the depths, the information

the density carried in aural waves

mundane sounds become high teachings

the nature of that which is arising

•

all things in motion creating sound

every particulate moves in some fashion

of its own in causal reply to another

you who have spoken to me

are now part of this poem

•

i am nothing but sound

i am everything of sound

interpenetrating, vast, infinite and finite both

more subtle than matter yet

primary, ground, base, core

•

this carrier of information, prime

communicator, speaking to all that is

ever present, overlooked, overheard

without intent, conveyor and purveyor

simultaneously of energy sensory wakening

•

my heart breathes in this vibrant matrix

how often have i shadowed myself

not having pause in the listen

the subtleties feeding, nourishing,

potentializing the deeper still within

•

listening even now  the pulsing of life

i heard the other day that all sound

originates from the first sound ever

that all sound carries with it  even now

primordial matter   the event of which we are

from the shadows

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this morning   it felt better to sleep   and to stay asleep

yet as the moment came to awaken

my heart    found rest     in the shadow light

and the dormancy within    had a new voice

the body calibrated for the light   of day

while the heart in wait   exploring opening with

the shadows all around and layered through

•

now   shadows welcomed and resting

the softness   calming nourishing inside

deep in shadows i am   like you   like we

but tasted on the tongue   as clear medicine

takes a whole other pause   breathing into

surrendering to the weight and the lightness

of the mastery of what is held   complete   within

the inanimate ~ not at all lifeless

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there has always been a kind of communion for me with the inanimate. i spent many years of my life earlier inspired by the making of objects and intrigued by the impetus in others for the making of objects. often, i have come to experience the deepest sadness i know in the presence of neglected, ignored, or ‘left for dead’ objects. to me, inanimate things are hardly what i would call ‘lifeless,’ which is how inanimate is defined in a standard dictionary.

last night, in a moment some might call a revery, i was communing deeply with the different objects in my home, including the structure of my home. communing deeply, what does that mean? i see the knowing or consciousness of these objects, i feel the experience they have of being appreciated and having a use or role in their expression of form. it seems to me that objects that are cared for, interacted with regularly, placed and truly seen are vibrating at a higher frequency. there is a kind of singing coming from these objects, a dignity, a presence that has an impact upon me and my consciousness.

what i’ve come to realize is that i have a certain capacity to relate to the objects in my surround. i can reach an overwhelm point in which i have two many things around me in which i no longer hold an easy communication with or sensing of the spirit in these things. my own shift in energy is quickly subsumed by the objects around me and we shift into a lower frequency together. do you realize how many environments are crowded with objects that aren’t given the simple dignity of being cared for, beautifully placed, acknowledged, or respected in some way for their unique contribution? have you contemplated the life, spirit, and voice of the objects around you?

i’ve consistently had a resonance with shinto practices that honor the ‘kami’ or spirit of objects. yes! there are many other spirited world views that similarly acknowledge the life within natural and man made objects both. shamanic based cultures are among these. children, too, have a naturally open consciousness to the life in all things.

contemplation ~ i am

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i am living my life in the highest order and it looks and feels like this:

pure aliveness in the now layered over by deeper sensing of what is through perceptions that permeate space and time. communion with all that is living, being, breathing. do i live in a house? i live within my being and it is my being which communes with all. i carry very little, i free this life from its bindings, its unnecessary bindings of all forms and vibrations.

i feel the hand of the maker in the house/shelter i rest and reside in, maybe even my own hand. i feel natural materials, earth, wood, sinew, bark, clay. i live in the midst of a garden, internally and externally. i am not removed. i am present with others. others visit me, the animals, the people, the birds, the children, the element(al)s, the frequencies, the wind, the sun, the moon.