Vunerability Within

29 September ~

My writing calls me, calls me here to place words outwardly that otherwise are fluid within. Vulnerabilities within anchor me, without hand holds, to the vastness of space within my heart and beingness. Sometimes this spaciousness is so vast, I can feel lost even when there is no where to go.

My contemplative fire within burns as an ember, low, gently warm, waiting to be rekindled in this autumn moon. It feels both awkward and tender, to write now. Coaxing something of that which is waiting to revive. I read the words of others, tenderness arising as the recognition of spirit in the life lived.

30 September ~ the following morning ~ The sun is softened, softened by somewhat heavy skies. The morning has a timeless quality, still under covers. I wake later than usual and my body/mind has a harder time sleeping late. It’s as if there is some deep confusion between waking and sleeping. The body aches, which gives a feeling to stay in bed. Staying in bed brings a different kind of weight, which impacts the whole. The house is quiet. I’m not the only one sleeping later today.

I long to write about the simple, everyday things on the material plane. I often write from the more subtle regions of the consciousness, the awareness of all that is. Then the object of awareness becomes the expression and the way of expression through language. This object is not so satisfying to the actual, physical life, the beingness in the body and of the body. And yet, these two are inextricably joined.

Instead, I take up a book with words written in the way that soothes and nourishes my soul and being. I can enjoy these writings. Maybe I don’t have to be the one who writes in that way. I live that way, so it’s there; that day to day touching in, with tenderness, to the material plane. I feel the elementals there with me. I love to acknowledge that connection. I don’t always acknowledge them, but when I do, I really love it and there is communion instantly!

[The song In Everything (Momosona) by Chris Rosser comes up on Pandora: https://www.pandora.com/#!/music/song/chris+rosser/in+everything+momosona ~ check it out, if you like.]

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