Author Archives: janicesandeen

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About janicesandeen

Being. Timelessness. The naturalness of being on and of the Earth: communing with animals and humans while being integral with the nature of we. Perceiving humanity and the All at frequencies of all different scales. I write and collaborate with others in the confluence of these. Thanks for contemplating and communing with me or just tuning in for the moment. Blessings from the vast realms of northern New Mexico.

Skin Deeper

You’ve lost your watch
and nearly lost your mind
you can see and feel yet

You passed out of time
and now you reach for
but out there there are

No references any more
real than one thing from
another or all things real

In their own way just as
you real within this skin
consciousness skin deeper

The blinking cursor tells
nothing like it once may
have now only intervals

With some precision and
without measure so help
you time where what when

Something helps you pace
yourself find your bearings
we’ve given those numbers

Strange fruit such magic
unfolding again and again
before our eyes oh yes

How will you know to
arrive to depart to fall in
to be yourself all in all

Such fraternity the avenue
of time cannot turn against
all things unto themselves

Out(side) of time we rest
markers makers listening
as long as stars hold yet

Even then or were that
may be or not we start
again deeper than begin

Welcome/Valkommen

There is no question
Anymore even where
Once there were two,
Three, four, even more.
Resounding fathomless
Space time returning to
Itself prescient, unaltered.
Silence, in its knowing,
Visits without visiting
Sings without singing
Arrives without arriving.
After Where Life Resounds by Dag Hammarskjold

(construct into) Platonic Cube

A new poem, which has a visually inspired structure (amongst other jewels), best seen/read at: http://imunuri.blogspot.com/2012/11/construct-into-platonic-cube.html

The IMUNURI prompt for this poem was of the theme ~

Gotta have heart:

O orators, body sculptors, what if you could put something else inside the middle of the body? what emblem, symbol, or doohicky would you place in the great hearchitecture (heart-architecture) of our corpus? Write a poem about it.

Extra credit for visualizations that accompany your hearchitectural sculpting. 

land cloud earth air water and photography

slope ridge line light

Photography –a medium I first explored over three decades ago and now find myself coming back to again, is compelling. It is the appearance or illusion of what was seen –not seen by the naked eye but by the camera, as Garry Winogrand so aptly noted as he discussed photography while being filmed himself for a documentary on photography.

We can look at photography in another way, not the way the camera ‘looks’ at the world in that split second aperture opening, but the way the human being and the human eye explores and glances, focusing or not focusing at something. Each photograph I take asks, if it can be said that way, to be looked at differently. In the photo above, for the body/brain there is a gestalt here. There are worlds within worlds in this image in the way I experience it. There is abstract beauty, there is light, dance, majesty, tenderness, softness, a deep relax. I love what seems to me the visitors, the trees high up on the ridge drawing my attention and intersecting the ridge line, riding the slope of this arid mountainside.

I love the scale shift in detail from the foreground to the very distant space of the ridge on into the sky. The feel of the day that drew me out into its changeability is touched here in this photograph, for me. Something breathes more easily within me in the presence of this light and shadow illusion of a land and cloud scape. So where might we say this landscape exists?

As invisible

as an updraft, the eye soars

as the osprey’s flight

The Land of Clouds

The other ‘land’

A new land was visible, as well as undeniably felt today. This land was a land of clouds, in perfect synergy with the geological, earthen land masses that appear so permanent and reliable. The cloud cover was ever changing today, reliably so. The play of light and shadow cast exponentially greater than the day or two before when I took in the simple play of afternoon light and shadow on the slopes of the Adams Gulch trail north of Ketchum (where I’ve been communing with animals for the last three weeks.)

It was as if I had arrived in a wholly new place. The clouds joining with, marrying, in a deep interplay with the curves and slopes of the mountains and hills and creek valleys everywhere around me creating a new order of scape. I was drawn to capture the shapes and the light and the feel of these ineffable contours again and again and again. Everywhere I turned, yet another land to move with, to be wafted by, lifted up while my feet remained with the ground below.

Dwelling place in the clouds

Where is it we dwell, truly? There is only one small portion of ground that our physical form rests down, touches down, meets contact with and makes real that place. All other aspects of space are perceived, even if they can be mapped, recorded, seemed to be held real ~ all these are simply a pointing to. Such is the magic of the cloud land or cloudscape, no maps are made of these.

Hiroshige Homage

In that way, clouds are akin to so many other changing thus not permanent things, not expected to remain the same. What is it about cloud nature that our brains so resonate with their phenomena? Are we not so much closer to cloud than steel or glass or even wood? We are so changeable by so, so many aspects and factors of life that shape us, constrict us, show us off, dissolve us, heighten and sometimes perturb us.

Permanently Changeable: Sky Dance

I will meet you here

We are at home in the sky

There no ladder climbs

Penthouse [and other conversations]

Penthouse and other conversations

 

This is not a house / but what pretends.

                      I am here nonetheless living / and life and my life fill this space 

Life unfolds through different orders

                      There is tenderness amongst these words,

and I might wonder in the in-between

                      I just was not able to crowd out the thoughts 

where holding, housing seems real.

                      that gruffness in the face of subterfuge, mine or ours.

Building has made things lie lifeless

                      I’ve been a builder of many things

and what has come to know these?

                      split myself –polarity of material plane

Something feigns to dwell and comes

                      as if one thing is better than another                        

nonetheless as if dwelling here abides.

                      confined within the designs of things.

Oh, the mis-take of it all. We borrow

                      No mistakes really whenever I see

and borrow such blurring until

                      resting is what is such that

little edge or distinction remains.

                      resting and restless find their joining.

I rest in the in-dwelling,

                      Yet I cannot be in without out

the in-dwelling needing no arrival.

                      coming and going are the same.

It is the departing, which lays waste

                      This one who departs and does not see –this

and waste again, as unsettling ensues.

                      song is for her to remind and restore her.

I dream of simpler forays

                      In the dream there is this dream too

the meeting in directness

                      one cannot be without the other –yet

where the purest movement speaks stillness,

                      their divide is what is not real –breathing

unlike the manipulation of reality taken on

                      now –All is beyond question welcoming

as second nature and even first.

                      the manifest as the poetry of it All.

I pause, considering ~ the in-dwelling remains

                      Still point / zero point

needing no artifice, climbs without effort

                      welcoming the manifest

and also falls with no aversion.

                      as the poetry of it All.

Upon Finding East Coker*

Here and now  is my beginning, not mattering
where I am or where I come from, my voice
of ash and cornstalk and leaf finds its ally.
With stones, this folly and forewarned failure
of words no longer tending that which once
tasted the palette of timelessness and seeing,
I return with those twenty years, also, that feel
wasted and yet not, steeping within which may,
just may resolve the quickened art of questions.
I will have this kind of conversation, however alone
it leaves me, But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of this woman only 
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
It is these stones that rise to meet me here, good company
yet uncompromising, as must be in folly, casting shadow
of experience haste and heavy and also humble.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
My day, this time, this world where I traverse and scold
as a private affair, the interior tides occasionally spilling
sometimes tarnishing, but also giving possibility to the polisher.
When should I, if ‘should I’ is the way to say it, when is it to be
plain, as uncontrived as animals coming to greet and pose
as themselves, not how we might wish them to present
only to fulfill matters that are ours, when is it to be plain?
Something is held back, reserved, calculated to create
a hidden reserve with interest, interest in and of what?
Let the dark come upon you, thus the beginning of the unraveling
and there are those who are with me here, in that here and there
that does not matter gives rise to exploration, communion,
even desolation The sharp compassion of the healer’s art.
Thank you voice of voice recognized
Whether posing or not of one time and place
I find the ground of heart of heart synchronized
Mess of imprecision of feeling within this space
Fierce, monstrous, Love is most nearly itself, grace.
I’ve found something here of myself and of you
And found and lost again and again
It is that tarnish I now polish but seeing the hue
before the scour
For the pattern is new in every moment
And every moment is a new and shocking
Valuation of all we have been.
Having considered apology, I carry on
in my work of this day of words and all that I know little of.
 

note ~ In italicized bold are excerpts from:

East Coker by TS Eliot

Please consider reading East Coker in its entirety, if you are at all inspired!

Thank you Daniel Ari, TS Eliot, Kim Rosen, Jason Wheeler, Marna Hauk


 

Soft Time

[written during the last writing jam in Richmond ~ August 25, 2012]

 

there is nothing

oh so poetical

like the swim of sounds

all around

in the quiet holding

of silence perforated

by the most exquisite

traces of life cascading

from all braces and

otherwise non-races

of life arriving when

and how it does

gastric upheavals

sparkling weevils

squirm-ish peevals

trickling of sweet quieted voices

fountaining up like dampened water

and the metal keys

the piano of the wind plays

the heat flushes my face

what grace that pink

rose without any thorns

I wore my rose shirt

today just for you

and you and you

even the green of the

green envy and missing

leaves ~ all of us

in it together

this room

punctuated by soft time

no time only some odd

agreement we’d forgotten

about from another time

one without brave silences

held like holding your breath underwater

the eyes have it, but so do the ears

and so does the nose

nosing under

visiting the journey

that traveling could

never reach

 

Five Tails

Steady ground of multitudinous paws

with limitless capacity to reflect

I gaze through dog windows seeing

laying  there aspects of my self

true and false  whole as well as partial

muddied then still and clear

what a day of five tails telling

what might not otherwise be seen

a) Attentive

foundling shaped coddled softened

from the inside out Mystic Eye of

the Beholder tender and fierce

at times rapidly interchanging

hesitant yet braised in a longing

contained by eons of shadowing

supplicant of the human heart

when opened  vastly free

b) Bounding

naked nighttime new moon confab

juxtaposes playful boundless reverie

extremes of pursuit and contentment

don’t tie me down but keep me close

tender toothed kisses unfettered affection

I see my own innocence here glowing

even with misunderstandings speculation

and day rises again the bright clear sun

c) Chivalry

the heart that opens deeply softly

eyes eyes eyes seeing watching tasting

putting all aside ready to desire delight

transparency confluence of many worlds

easy traveler buoyant riding over surface

and depth his role clear certain allowing

leave it in his hands but paws and nose

return again and again ever welcoming

d) Dear

unsettled bashfully brazen welcoming

committee of one of anything needing

alerting exuberantly caught in her own skin

and grace melting icebergs in her sleep

where all previous proclivities disperse

just give me something soft to curl onto

something to gaze into calm me full

in these simple yet abiding nourishings

w) Exceptionally

no other steps in here in This Way

fraught with complexity and oh so

vulnerable would it could it be seen

only only only ready ready steady

bound within an unspoken allegiance

being everything and plus some to His

and yet what has been asked is more

than some could bear this bare note

• • •

And five tails told but only wagging

can tell what more is to be seen

dog windows to the soul of so many

internal worlds open space off leash

The Filtering of Light

In a space we call dreaming
where body and brain step off
different platforms like when trains
going off in different directions
take us here take us there
only to return anew somehow
magically or maybe oddly
to that place we call awake

While dreaming all the world
arises and falls seeps in vaguely
staying as light as salt crystals
scattered on potatoes steaming
giving rise to taste what is more
true the salt or the root or the heat
do each of these overhear the other
mixing metaphors soil and cuisine

Dreams we call them conversations
they are each one overheard by this
collective organism of perception
yours mine ours who possesses
and what is private public distinct?
We send you off to do the deed
only to come along tag along with
knowingly or unknowingly so

The body awake a node or locus
a conglomeration somehow particular
to one yet an entanglement quantum
of several or many spread over
here over there transparencies one
into and through another another
indistinguishable where if any are
the seams as each interpenetrate all

An arc of overhearing