Category Archives: out in the world

here is where i am

Leave a reply

if here is where i am, then what kind of shelter is needed in that place?

i’ve been in a process of ‘finding’ my next place to live. as one part contemplative, one part human animal nature, and one part quantum consciousness, this process has its confusions and expectations, its turns and returns, and its surrenders and revelations. what is the impulse behind this search, this inherent instability, this very human predicament to go looking for something ‘out there,’ something ‘better’ perhaps, or something that could hold the future?

shelter, for me, is an art form, just as is life. it’s good to remind myself that, ultimately, the survival drive behind much of this life comes from a legacy of the human condition itself, from the sea of ancestral waters washing up on my genetic shores. the actual function of my own being is something of a different order, a mystery of the quantum field itself responding and giving rise to aliveness and spirit intelligence.

‘finding’ might not be the verb in order here when it comes to sheltering the one part quantum consciousness. listening maybe? communing, very likely. simply being and observing and surrendering, all of these. i hear all the animal nature sounds around me as i pause in this way. that human animal nature can be ‘sheltered’ in the the surrendering to the quantum consciousness aspect of life. it’s possible that the one part contemplative is the actual communication synergy between these two other parts.

yes, here is where i am.

quixotic

Leave a reply

the view from here is rather likely infused with that which i’ve been contemplating within of late, thus the title of this blog. i interact with my world internally and externally often from a contemplative stance. i’m curious about what i see and experience, sometimes pause in awe of the human condition. at moments, i see the quixotic nature* of the experiences that so much of humanity is deeply immersed in and carrying with them. much of the outward manifestation of our human life and ways seems simply preposterous. and yet, i live out this human life, these ways, myself. humbling.

i’ve had a role on the last several wednesday afternoons in which i stand at the entrance to a parking lot for a building where i go to yoga and where i also get great acupuncture treatments from time to time. this building is opposite the town park where the weekly farmer’s market happens in the afternoons late spring, summer, and early fall. parking is tricky on these days and many people are scouting for parking spots anywhere they can find them. (*driving in cars as much as we do ~ certainly quixotic!) so, this lot is often approached by people who have no business in the building, but are delighted to park in this private lot nonetheless. having the role of slowing people down and actually requesting an audience with them is quite a contemplation!

i recognize that this act of stopping and seeing people in their habitual selves, going about ‘their business’ in the world, is quite startling to some, simply an outrage to others, a curiosity to a few, and for some a moment of protected impatience or confusion. it’s quite a concentrated task. it’s not a social nicety to ask for a few extra seconds out of a person’s day who is hurried and intent upon driving themselves somewhere.

this kind of contemplation takes guts. i can tell that i have a part of humanity within me that feels somewhat important in telling others what to do and what not to do. and yet, to stand in this role with relaxation and with my perceptions open, i have to feel that part of me getting activated. does it take over, does it start telling stories, does it get energized, does it become entranced in the factors holding this whole perplexing phenomena together? am i myself or do i become some tempered crony of the deceptions and regulations around what is simply another odd human situation?