Nexus Self Rest as Motion

The perception point as a place of rest within the space of time/space moving around me has become more real, more palpably felt for me lately. At one time I experienced what felt to me as a profound shift in my relationship to my thoughts through a recognition of the distinction between streams or kinds of awareness, each with their own unique natures. At that time, it was a great revelation, which was followed by moments that felt like a liberation as I would feel free to say, “ah, I’m not thinking about this!” Even though thinking happened, I would not bring my focus there as part of feeling into or sensing my movements or direction. It was a recognition that thinking was not required to ‘be’ and to be true within myself, that what was true for me had an autonomy all its own, not dependent on being thought through. I’m curious now, if that was a moment that I recognized the experience of resting in the mechanics of storyline.

And now, this resting within a primary perception point comes as felt sense, not so much a recognition of something, but internal sensing of something undeniable, real where all things in motion are held in a spatial or 360 degree relationship rather than a linear relationship. Listening deeply to music, I have a similar experience of the kind of spatial awareness I’m pointing to here. Although the music can be represented linearly by a score and be accessed by musicians and played via that score, the experience of being in the music, hearing it, is purely vibrational, non linear, spatial in the sense that the vibrations move all around in their unique tones and frequencies. Music, for me, is spatial, organically opening out awareness. I have such a deep recognition of my own nature as I rest in the music, music that I respond to and resonate with.

What I love about arriving at (where there is also no arriving, no departing) this perception point, is taking in the richness of the perceptual field from the vantage point of the spatial listener, the three and four dimensional seer, the receptive. The music or the view is complex and simple at once. There is totality and there are many threads, each unique and distinct that have their own natures. And these threads correspond with aspects of my conscious or unconscious uniqueness such that the actual weaving of these are a dance that happens all on its own. There is a felt sense of the totality within me and all around me indistinguishable, just as the music or silence has capacity to penetrate and completely absorb this nexus of self.


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